Not Enough
by Kei Jones
Summary: Love, real love, true love is about choice. I chose to love you for as long as I could. I considered myself lucky that you allowed it at all. But in the end, my love just wasn't enough. Blackwater.
1. Not Enough

Not Enough

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. But didn't Taylor still look totally cute last night on SNL? Oh Mikash. I tell ya blonde, brunette, pigtails - any wig Taylor still looks HAWT! GO TEAM JACOB!**

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This isn't how things were supposed to be. You were supposed to stay behind and wait for me. I was coming back – you knew that, right? I loved you by choice but my choice wasn't strong enough to withstand the imprint pull. The day I left four years ago was without a doubt the worst day of my life after my mom's death and the day I first phased. I was so excited to be, finally, coming back home. I've missed everyone and everything about La Push – especially you. Life with the Cullens has been anything but boring. Bella and Ness just had to experience everything so quickly. By the time the day was done I was dog tired and couldn't call you like I had promised. You didn't expect me to call though, did you? Did you think I forgot about you? As if I ever could. Is, is that why you left?

I called one day and instead got Seth. He told me that you had left home some years ago. My blood turned cold at the news – you left only months after I did? Seth said that you're good, healthy, doing well and 'living the life'. I didn't know what that meant until I was shopping with Ness and caught a glimpse of a familiar face smiling back at me. It's your face that's plastered on a magazine and despite the 'girlie' print, news and advice I snatch up the magazine and buy it. I had heard everyone talking about you being a model and putting that wolf height and metabolism to good use 'sides hunting leeches. The article inside was a 'normal' story of growing up on an Indian reservation, your father dying before you graduated from high school, the heartbreak of your then-fiancé leaving you for your cousin and then 'running' with a so-called bad crowd. They ask if drugs were involved and you laugh saying that it was more of a 'feud' between two different families. You talk about your strange growth spurt and the teasing, hazing and ridicule you had to suffer until finally finding your own self-worth. No mention of me at all.

I read that article months ago and just had to come home – come home to you. I recall my last phone conversation with Seth, "I've told her you were coming home for a visit." He says and I sighed heavily at the word 'visit'. Not even Seth Clearwater is expecting me to stay for long. But I hold onto my hopes of you being there when I arrive. No matter what happened you were always there whenever I needed someone the most.

My heart beats quickly when I smell the ocean, the pine, and the wolves – all smells that are unique to only La Push. My 'family' comes along, much to my disappointment, because they are excited about seeing the 'wolves' as well. Bella is looking forward to seeing Emily, Edward and Ness to see Seth.

"She said she'd try and make it." Seth says with a weak smile when I ask for you. "But she said she couldn't make any promises." And at that one word I give up; I let go of the hope I was holding onto. I made you so many promises that I couldn't keep. Not even the simplest of calling you – even once. Your brother pats me on the back – why he does it, I don't know. His pat only seems to beat on the hollowness of my soul.

The night drags on as I sit trying to drown my disappointment in beer, vodka, gin, scotch, whisky and your personal favorite tequila. Really it doesn't work because it only makes me think of you more. We had our second roll in the hay after a night of drinking. Edward gives me a look and I roll my eyes at him opting to get up and grab me another pack of beers. I walk into the kitchen and feel my stomach turn – must be the sight of so many imprints crammed into one area. Rachel gives me a look – an almost sad, apologetic look. I raise an eyebrow in question but then I get my answer. Emily squeals excitedly, hurting my ears, at something Sue has told her but I didn't catch. "She's engaged!" Emily screams bouncing up and down in place. I freeze and pray to God that they are talking about Claire – I know she's only 12 but still.

"I know." Kim adds. "Leah's finally engaged." And the beer bottle I've been holding shatters in my grasp. The entire room falls silent as all eyes turn on me.

"Jacob?" I turn my head to look back and see Ness standing behind me with Edward and Bella – the perfect family. My nose crinkles at their scent, at their presence. She calls my name again but I ignore her as I walk out the door making a beeline for the trees. You're not coming back – ever. Not even to see me. And why should you? This small backwater town full of legends come true, where only death, lies and broken promises reside.

I explode into my wolf form and take off running. Just running. I don't know if I'm trying to run from you or to you. You've stopped phasing, haven't you? I've missed hearing your voice, feeling your warm body pressed against mine, your –

You're engaged? As in getting married? To some guy?

_Well that's usually how it works for us girls_.

You would say if you were here. But is it to the guy who 'supposedly' found you? How can you be found or discovered when _I_ knew where you were the whole time? Why him? I've seen him in some of Seth's memories. What's so special about him? He's short! Okay, so he's like 6' even and that's short compared to _us_ – compared to me. And, and he's white! He looks like a stinking, fucking leech with his dark brown, shit colored eyes. You can't marry him – he's not me!

So what? What did you do? Just fall in love with the first guy after me who told you were beautiful? Was it because he couldn't imprint? You can't love him, Lee. I forbid it! I wish – no! Wait! I order you wherever the hell you are to phase and talk to me. I stop running and look up at the sky trying to will you to follow my Alpha command. I've never ordered you before because just bossing others around isn't leadership, you told me that. But I would order you now. Order you to love me and only me. To stay the hell away from him and anyone else that would try to keep us apart.

That's not love though, is it? Love, real love, true love is about choice. I chose to love you for as long as I could. I considered myself lucky that you allowed it at all.

Suddenly there are many voices. The two packs have long since recombined in our absence. They are looking for me, telling me to get over it, get over you – most are surprised that I even care. Of course I care about you. You were mine – still supposed to be mine.

Again, I hear, _'Get over it, Black.'_ And at the usage of the surname with a hint of sarcasm and a warm feminine voice that makes my heart skip a beat. It's separate from the hive mind and I whimper pitifully as I sniff the air desperately. Are you here? Did you come to see me?

Through the trees a huge light gray wolf steps into the meadow. _'Heard there was alcohol.'_ You state with a carefree laugh and my heart sings with excitement and joy over your presence. I run towards you with my tongue lulling out of my mouth in a wolfish laugh. But I stop short of a few feet of you as my eyes catch sight of something shiny around your neck. It's a piece of jewelry – ring. A diamond ring, in fact.

You shake your head and walk towards me with a slight pep in your walk I've not seen in years, maybe a decade. You circle me and I can only imagine how long your hair is now – but that, that ring mocks me. _'Take it off.'_ I demand angrily.

_'As a wolf there ain't any clothes for me_ to _take off.'_ You state matter-of-factly and brush my nose with your tail. I'm aroused, definitely, but not amused.

_'I don't mean your clothes.'_ I snarl as you dance out of reach of my jaws. _'I meant that damn, fuckin' piece of shit ring.'_ I order roughly. You freeze and look down at it before looking at me.

_'No.'_

_'What?'_

_'Are you hard of hearing?'_ You snap with that familiar anger that brings to mind some of our hottest, heated and roughest sex – _'Focus, boy!'_ You snarl viciously. _'What? Fuckin' your imprint isn't enough for ya? I thought she was just as pretentious as her mother.'_

_'She's not enough.'_ I admit and you snort. _'She's not my lover.'_ Silence. _'She's not my heart.'_ More silence. _'I left it with a feisty she-wolf.'_ Still nothing. _'And I've come to collect it – and her.'_ You look at me and nothing else. _'So take off that ring. You belong to me.'_ I state smugly.

_'No.'_ You answer flatly and the fur on my hackles rise again as we prepare to do this dance again.

I know I should say something else but all that comes out is, _'What?'_ You rolls your eyes at me. You're defying me? Your Alpha? Your Jake? And then I see _him_ through your memoires. Your first meeting here at First Beach, your first date together, your first kiss? He's shown you the world, your own inner beauty, your value, worth, strength and love? _'He won't be_ _enough for you.'_ I snap angrily moving to stand over you dominantly. I glare down at you utilizing all of my power to bring you back to me.

_'No, you're not enough for me.'_ You state coldly and something inside of me dies. There are noises behind me but I ignore them and phase back unable to deal with the pain even in my wolf form. You – you can't mean it. We loved each other – we still _love_ each other.

"I love you still." I whisper. "Despite the magic, the so-called _perfect_," I spit angrily at the word 'perfect' as tears well up in my eyes, "love, imprint. I still love you." You phase before me and my breath catches at the sight of your body naked before me –again, as it should've always been. Your hair falls down around your shoulder, covering your beautiful breasts but that doesn't deter my eyes from taking in your glorious body; your soft hips that my hands have gripped tightly to the point of leaving bruises.

"Your words mean nothing." You say calling my eyes back to your face. "Nothing if you can't back 'em up." You continue shaking your head. "Our love came too late to fight for. I can't fight _that_," you wave your hand at the air – no, your eyes are focused on something behind me. I look back to see _her_ again. "Love isn't enough for us – not now; not ever. It was good seeing you, Jacob. I hope to see you again." You kiss me and walk away leaving _me_ behind this time to live your new life; probably to make love to him and eventually take on _his_ last name as your own while I'm left standing here wanting to feel your lips on mine again.

I move to follow you but _she_ calls my name and I realize that yet again I'm stuck. Her voice and presence is more like a choke collar around my neck. No matter how hard I try I can't break it and the knowledge brings me to tears. I never cried over Bella but I'm crying over you right now. I cry because I know you're right. I'm not 'man' enough for you. I'm not strong enough for you. I'm too much of a wolf to escape this damn pull – for now. "I LOVE YOU, LEAH CLEARWATER!" I yell into the darkness. I know you can hear me. "ONE DAY I WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU! IF IT TAKES ME THE REST OF MY LIFE WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN!"

I promise to not just her, the woman I love, but to my pack and my imprint. I will break free and I will have Leah Clearwater as my own again some day.

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A/N: Well here's an idea that hit me real late last night right before SNL came on with our fave werewolf, Taylor Lautner. LOVE YOU TAY-TAY! And to that red-headed cougar checking out my boy-toy when he introduced Bon Jovi. *points at my eyes and then her* I'm watching you. Damn cougar. PICK UP SOMEONE AT LEAST MY AGE AND BACK OFF! I'M A PUMA AND THAT'S MY PREY, YA HEAR! MINE!

But anywayz since it's been so long since I posted anything because of the holiday rush and so much has been going on I'll start with my first question.

My sister posed this question to me and honestly I'm still at a loss of who I would pick. Now here's the scenario.

Sis: Who would you pick between Taylor Lautner and The Rock.

Me: Well, obviously, The Rock because he's not jailbait.

Sis: Okay, Taylor is legal.

Me: . I TAKE BOTH!

Sis: You can't have both.

Me: But they 'both' want me, right?

Sis: *rolls eyes* Yea. But you're not a slut…are you?

Me: Well for them…I…would…be…?

Sis: JUST PICK ONE!

So the discussion has grown but I will save that for another post that may come up tonight unless I get distracted by new Coach purse. Who's the cutest purse tonight? You are. ^_^

But, as always thanks for reading and remember it only takes a second to click that magic green button and tell me what you think.

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	2. A Love Too Late

A Love Too Late

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

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This isn't how things were supposed to be. You were supposed to leave and never come back – especially not just 'because'. The day you left was just another horrible day in my life; ranking up there with the day I phased and Dad died, finding out about Sam and Emily's infidelity and learning you imprinted on the leech spawn we had agreed to protect. Before you left we spent the weekend together; our time spent in a combination of human and wolf form involving gentle caresses, kisses and embraces. You made soft promises to call me and to never forget me. I listened half-heartedly knowing that you'd not keep your promises. With you wolves and your imprints it's out of sight, out of mind. I've learned over the years as your Beta that there are times to argue with you and times to just let you have your way. That was one of those times.

In fact, it was that kind of thinking that put me in this situation. You came to me talking about Nessie; which you should've already known was a bad way to start any conversation with me. You quickly realized your mistake when I growled and got up from my spot in the meadow under the tree and was in the process of leaving. You knew then and you have to know now that I'm not a fan of 'imprint talk'; unless it's Quil and Claire and that's only because it's absolutely adorable to see a kid like Claire play Quil like a fiddle. But you quickly grabbed hold of my wrist and apologized for the slip but asked me to listen to what you had to say. Letting out a heavy and defeated sigh I sat down to allow you to have your say. If I didn't you'd only harass me day-in and day-out until I eventually caved in anyway.

You sat down and began to tell me about how Nessie had been asking about relationships and dating. I listened half-heartedly to your talk finding myself only mildly curious about why the now 12-yr old, or at least that's how old she looked at the time, was getting such thoughts in her head. Everyone around her was either paired up or unattached meaning Seth, Embry and I. You told me that she wanted you to date other girls; which only caused me to frown harder waiting to hear you say that you, of course, turned down her offer. But, you surprised me and told me that you agreed. I swear, if I had been drinking anything at the moment I would've done a spit take worthy of any primetime sitcom on CBS. I got up yelling at you for agreeing to such a foolish thing; that you were only doing this to get 'some tail' and would only wind up hurting some poor girl who would believe that this was some serious relationship or was looking for one.

You quickly shook your head telling me that this was not the case. You thought that this would be your chance to be free of the imprint. "It's whatever the imprints wants, Leah." You said smiling at me broadly as if I was supposed to follow your hormone-driven logic. "If Nessie doesn't want to be _in_ a romantic relationship with me then why should I be forced to wait to find out the truth? She's older now and I don't feel anything for her outside of a big brother relationship. I can be with whomever I want, Leah." You said and I applauded you with a blank stare. Secretly, which I thought was pretty awesome since it so fit in with The Joker's applause for the newly appointed Commissioner Gordon in _The Dark Knight Returns_. I told you to 'go get 'em tiger' and was on my way to some other place that didn't involve you and whatever perverted thoughts that had been building up in your head over the last 3-yrs to break out.

"I want you, Lee." The words brought me to a complete halt in mid-step. I heard you or at least I _thought_ I heard you. Had you just said that you wanted _me_? I turned around to gawk at you and you were smiling at me broadly. You approached me cautiously, which on a normal day would be a smart move, but I was so stunned that I'm not even sure how I was supposed to react. You carefully wrapped your arms around my waist pulling me closer to you and my breath hitched. Looking up into your eyes I could see not only my damnation but also my salvation in your warm, dark chocolate colored eyes. You looked at me as if I was 'special' to you and you had eyes for no one else save me.

I'm not sure exactly what it was; maybe was my hormones getting the better of me, maybe it was the fact that it'd been so long since a man touched me in a way that wasn't forced, uneasy or playful rough housing and then again it could've been just C) all of the above. But I gave into you and what originally started off as gentle kisses and safe exploration of one another's body soon became something heated, heavy, passionate and oh so wonderful. Being with you has been one of the greatest memories of my life and not just the sex. Even hanging out with you was pure bliss and I slowly found myself doing the _one_ thing I told myself I wouldn't do – I fell in love with you. You had told me over and over again how much you loved me, that being with me was the highlight of your day and that once we were married (yes, you even mentioned marriage) that we'd set aside a whole day to just be 'together' with our soft and gentle words, caresses, kisses and love making. You were so damn charming and you meant every word that you said. But in the end, that decision belonged to Renesmee Carlie Cullen and there would be nothing that the two of us could do if she chose you; and why wouldn't she choose you? Hell, I'd choose you over what's out there now.

Our relationship continued, secretly at my request, for a whole year before Bella caught wind of it. We never really got along together; mostly me hating her and all but she seemed to hold me responsible for the failed relationship between our parents. Like I could say or do anything to my mom to make her dump Charlie Swan; which by the way, they weren't even in a relationship like that. Bella had some how disillusioned herself into believing that we'd wind up step-sisters. I, personally, chalked it up to her looking for a way to _not_ feel guilty for abandoning her father and that a romantic relationship with my mother was her 'out'. But really it never went very far because it was bad enough that Jacob had imprinted on the Cullen's newest edition to the family but to become eternally connected to the family through two Council members was just asking for trouble years later down the road. Anyway, she found out that you were sleeping around on her then 13-14 yr old daughter and decided that enough was enough. She talked Nessie into calling you back to her and that they'd all pack up and leave to never come back to La Push or at least not until I was dead and buried. The whole reason I know this is because Blondie told me so. She was all for our relationship because she didn't want you attached to her niece anymore than Billy wanted you to.

There wasn't anything that could be done. You told me what happened and I listened half-heartedly already knowing the real truth. I doubt Bella or Edward has ever bothered to tell you the truth. That Nessie really didn't want you back but it was all due the influence of her mother. I could've told you the truth but what would it have accomplished? You would've been angry enough to argue with her and maybe even lunge at her but in the end your imprint would intervene and find a solution that would satisfy her mother and then you. You hugged me the day you finally left and vowed that you'd return but in the meantime you'd call at least every other day. I didn't bother to hug you back because I knew the truth and how all of this would play out. You'd not call, write or even think of me. I'd just become so vague memory or nothing more than just a mere dream – fantasy even of some girl you fucked around with.

I didn't allow myself to cry over you because tears would be a sign that I'd gone back on my word, that I'd fallen in love with you. I was the Alpha of the pack now but without the Cullens around there wasn't much point in phasing. I had always wanted to stop phasing but when the time finally came – I couldn't. The wolf inside of me refused to go quietly into the night. She refused to rest and find peace somewhere deep within my soul and so I continued phasing.

You traveled so far from La Push that I never heard your thoughts, that or you had stopped phasing. I focused on the pack, the cubs still phased and so I picked them up from Sam making one whole pack. I trained them, helped build up their stamina and endurance. We all took mixed martial arts lessons to learn how to concentrate, focus and fight better.

You were pushed to the back of my mind; meant to remain a mere ghost of another chapter in my life that was now over. In fact, I was ready to be done with the book of La Push and wanted to start on a fresh new page for my life. Not away from the wolves or the magic but something different and unexpected. That was when Chris showed up. He's an alright looking guy brunette with dark brown eyes – my immediate thought was 'I don't like him' because something about him makes me think of Bella Swan. He introduced himself and complimented me on my beauty which I dryly thanked him for. I was done falling for guys sorry-ass lines about my beauty and how 'special' they think I am. In the end, no matter how _special_ I am they'd only leave me for someone…better? How can some other female be better than me? I've never had this thought before but I'm tall, evenly toned olive-colored skin, my eyes are a soft hazel color when calm and happy, I think I have nice tits; at least that's what you, Sam and Paul have always told me. I've got this great ass, toned legs…so maybe my hair wasn't in the best of shape. The Chris guy interrupted my thoughts keeping me from brutally critiquing my hair to tell me what he did. He was a modeling agent looking for some fresh talent and thought I could go far in the world of modeling. "You're tall, beautiful, leggy, and have this exotic look going. What are you?" I told him Quileute which he lapped up desperately saying that I could model for any spread except for something requiring black girls.

So I took him up on his offer and the rest as they say is history. I've spent the last 4 years modeling and loving every minute of it. It felt like I had found my calling and eventually I found a place to fit in. I had a career, a fiancé and even a retirement fund. My life was finally on track but then Seth called me saying that you were coming home. Not only were you coming home but were continually asking for me. I debated over whether or not I should go home when you would be there. I'd been home at least twice in the last 4 years but mostly I just flew Seth and Mom out to visit me. I wouldn't have shown up if it wasn't for my brother's persistence. I debated over what to do with my engagement ring as I was sure that the news of it wouldn't be kept quiet while in your presence seeing as how only Seth and Embry knew of our relationship. I decide to wear it because it's a sign that I've moved on from you; that I don't _need you _to make me feel special.

I'm not sure what possessed me to come in wolf form but I do. While on my way there I'm bombarded with a series of thoughts and emotions; someone is pissed and thinking a mile a minute. Then I begin to pick pieces from the thoughts. _You've stopped phasing, haven't you? I've missed hearing your voice, feeling your warm body pressed against mine, your –_

_You're engaged? As in getting married?_ _To some guy? _

_Well that's usually how it works for us girls_. I respond back to you but I don't think you realize that I'm with you yet. So I quietly listen to you ramble on.

_You would say if you were here. But is it to the guy who 'supposedly' found you? How can you be found or discovered when I knew where you were the whole time? Why him? I've seen him in some of Seth's memories. What's so special about him? He's short! Okay, so he's like 6' even and that's short compared to us. And, and he's white! He looks like a stinking, fucking leech with his dark brown, shit colored eyes. You can't marry him – he's not me!_

I'm taken aback by your words because they are so painful and heart wrenching. What has happened to you? I quickly shake my thoughts and feelings aside because no matter what you're leaving with the Cullens. I go into 'bitch mode'. _'Get over it, Black.'_ I order you causing you to pause. I hear you whimper pitifully and sniff the air desperately.

_Are you here? Did you come to see me?_

_'Heard there was alcohol.'_ I say laughing after stepping out into the meadow you're in.

Looking around I realize that it's _our_ meadow that you've run to during your fit of anger. You look at me stunned, almost as if I'm a mirage or something and this tickles me for some reason. My hair has grown over the years, so my fur is really long and I shake my head to knock some of the excess fur away from eyes. The action succeeds to not only clear my vision but give you a slight glimpse of the ring I'm wearing around my neck as a collar. I try to ignore your growing frustration and circle you getting a look at your size. Even after all these years you're still magnificent.

_'Take it off.' _You demand angrily. I realize that you're not aware of my thoughts since that is what you say.

_'As a wolf there ain't any clothes for me to take off._' I tell you matter-of-factly and brush your nose with my tail. This action has always managed to calm you down from any fit of anger and yet leave you definitely aroused. You're aroused but not placated.

_'I don't mean your clothes.' _You snarl at me reaching out for me with your huge canines. I jump out of the way knowing that I can't allow you to catch me. If I give into you now the life I've made for myself will come crashing down on me. _'I meant that damn, fuckin' piece of shit ring.' _You snap at me trying to use a hint of your Alpha command. You eye the ring around my neck before looking at me and I can see the temptation in your soul, the desire to tear it off of me and make me yours again is so clearly evident in your eyes. I can't give in and I _won't_. Not this time and not ever.

_'No.'_

_'What?'_

_'Are you hard of hearing?' _I snap angrily as I'm suddenly hit with your memories of our hottest, heated and roughest sex –_'Focus, boy!' _I snarl viciously. I miss the sex. I miss your kisses, hugs, your warmth and your scent but _your_ decision has already been made. And thinking about what has put us here has me ready to lash out at your precious leeches. _'What? Fuckin' your imprint isn't enough for ya? I thought she was just as pretentious as her mother.'_

_'She's not enough._' You admit and I snort. _'She's not my lover.' _Silence. _'She's not my heart. '_More silence. _'I left it with a feisty she-wolf._' Still nothing. _'And I've come to collect it – and her.' _

Over the years I've learned how to block my thoughts from the others and you're no exception. Hearing your words sends a shiver down my spine that leaves me welling up with the same old excitement that only you can bring out in me. _'So take off that ring. You belong to me.' _You state smugly.

_'No.'_ I answer flatly, for the last time, and the fur on my hackles rise again as we prepare to do this dance again. I've found love with someone special and before I can do anything I let it slip out, an image of Ranku, my fiancé. If you knew who he truly was you'd start shitting bricks and use them as ammo to throw at him. I quickly clean it up and show you images of Chris, my agent, instead of Ranku – it's safer, better and much easier this way. I'll let you believe that I've fallen in love with some normal human, that he's shown me how special, beautiful and worthy of love I am. But then what you say next is a blow to the wall surrounding my heart – the wall built to keep you out.

_'He won't be_ _enough for you.'_ My breath hitches in my throat and deep down inside I know you're right.

_'No, you're not enough for me.'_ I state coldly and something inside of me dies. There are noises behind you but you choose to ignore them and to my surprise you phase back – why? Did what I just say hurt you as much as it hurt me? Could it be that you still love me – that we are still in love with one another?

"I love you still." You whisper softly gently breaking me all over again. "Despite the magic, the so-called _perfect_," You spit out angrily as tears start to well up in your eyes, "love, imprint. I still love you." I phase before you and can't help but feel a bit of satisfaction knowing that my body still has some affect on you after all this time.

We've an audience now and I'm so relieved that my hair falls down around my shoulders, covering my breasts but that doesn't stop you from getting in your quick looks. Your leering and lust-filled looks makes me bite my bottom lip because I want you back but…I've said it so many times before you left, after you left and even on my way here. What we had can never work.

"Your words mean nothing." I state harshly my throat feeling dry and my voice sounding hollow. "Nothing if you can't back 'em up." I shake my head hoping that you'll see my logic, Jacob. You can't be pig-headed and stubborn now – not anymore. The sad part is that I love you all the more for your stubbornness, "Our love came too late to fight for. I can't fight _that_," I wave trying to fight back the tears and wave at the vampires and Halfling behind you. "Love isn't enough for us – not now; not ever. It was good seeing you, Jacob. I hope to see you again." I tell you only half-heartedly meaning it. I kiss you softly on the lips enjoying the taste that I've missed so much and turn to leave immediately. The reason why I've come in wolf form is now clearly obvious to me – I've run here so I can quickly escape you. As much I would love to stand holding you in my arms it would only be a short-lived pleasure that would have everlasting painful effects. I hear her call out your name and I can't stand it any longer. I phase once I'm in the trees and run heading back to the airport – to get away from this town, this past life of hurt, broken promises and stories where I never have a happy ending.

"I LOVE YOU, LEAH CLEARWATER! ONE DAY I WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU! IF IT TAKES ME THE REST OF MY LIFE WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN!" I hear you yell after me as I dig down deep and run faster. Deep down a part of me wants you to be right; that some day we'll be together again while the other part of me knows that it's nothing more than big talk. I can't help but laugh bitterly because I seem forever stuck in a circle, a magic circle. Going from one wolf to another to another. I just hope and pray that Seth doesn't tell Jacob that my fiancé, Ranku, is another Alpha then again…I kinda hope he does.

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A/N: So here goes another story. This just kind of hit me since I'm feeling under the weather and thus in an angst-ridden mood. But you all know what to do. Please read and review. Just tell me what you think – that's all I ask. Hey! I'm sick! DO IT!


	3. Right and Right Now

Right and Right Now

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

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Her lungs and paws ache as she slows down her run into a light trot before stopping altogether. The sun is still hours away and the rest of her pack is either working, patrolling in human form or just enjoying their time off. The silence was a welcomed refuge in the beginning but now Leah wishes for someone else's thoughts to invade her mind, to push away the memory of Jacob Black standing before her naked, vulnerable and yet still so powerful while declaring his love for her.

Letting out a deep groan Leah continues on her path towards one of the pack's safe houses. Coyotes yelp and howl in the distance, scurrying from her the moment they catch sight of the gigantic wolf stalking towards them. The neighborhood dogs have grown accustomed to her scent and only excitedly bark their greeting.

Within a matter of seconds Leah is inside of her home, walking boldly through the kitchen, grabbing an apple along the way before bounding up the stairs, two at a time, and into the bathroom. The apple does nothing to sate her appetite but will tie her over until she can figure out what she wants to eat – if she wants to eat at all. Stepping into the shower, she turns the jets on high and stands in the middle allowing the scalding hot water to bear down on her. Her muscles spasm for a moment at the sudden temperature change but quickly adjust, her skin turning from a scalding red back to its olive-colored complexion in a matter of seconds.

She bathes herself while trying to combat the conflicting memories and emotions of Jacob's hands touching and massaging her along with Ranku's body pressed against hers. Somehow her body still remembers Jacob's scent; its warm, masculine and forest scent that was always mixed in with a hint of motor oil and gasoline. It's a stark contrast to Ranku's scent that is more desert and inner city with a bit of grit that always leaves her eager to lick his chest clean. Closing her eyes Leah grips onto her diamond engagement ring, the one reminder that she is no longer connected to Jacob Black that she has moved on – that he has moved on.

Stepping out of the shower Leah dries, moisturizes her skin and brushes out the tangles in her hair. As she looks at herself, she can see the small smile that is playing on her lips thinking of hunting Ranku down in the City of Angels. Normally, it is him giving chase, tracking her no matter where she is and greeting her with his warm and loving smile and a bouquet of flowers.

Heading to the office set up next to the master bedroom Leah cuts on the laptop and logs on, heading to the pack's general chat room. It's one of the best ways to touch base with everyone – those who are working at least or not patrolling. She smiles immediately being greeted by everyone who is online and after a quick round of questions she finds out that Ranku is out patrolling in the south side of Los Angeles. She gets teased for a quick second when she says good night because they all know that their Alpha Female is out on the hunt for her mate.

Throwing on a simple black summer dress and flats Leah heads out in search of her mate, her fiancé, her Alpha.

* * *

Los Angeles is a busy city, always something going on whether its music blaring, people talking, gunshots firing or the sirens going off, depending on what area you're in, it was certainly never boring. But then again it could also be because the paparazzi were always eager to catch a picture of anyone semi or full-blown famous out running the streets.

She ignores the cat calls as she walks around Los Angeles picking up the faint scent of her brothers, nodding at one here or there, as they continue their hunt for vampires. A few vampires turned out to be very successful hunters within the urban areas, feeding at night, preying on the high, drunk and naïve in nightclubs, outside crack houses and even in the parks. Normally, it'd not be safe for someone like Leah to be out walking about at two in morning alone but for the most part people always give her a wide berth, somehow sensing that there is something dangerous about her.

"Got a light?" A deep voice asks breaking through Leah's thoughts causing her to pause for a moment. The man is downwind of her but it doesn't matter because she sensed him before he even made it around the corner.

"Sorry, I don't smoke." Leah says with a smirk as she turns and looks up at the man beside her. Her eyes darken as she licks her lips looking at the tall and handsome man next to her. His black eyes shine with a look of lust and excitement that sends a shiver down Leah's spine, his thick eyebrows furrowing before he closes his eyes inhaling her scent and his soft, full lips look so juicy and delicious that Leah can't help but bite down on her bottom lip thinking about licking his.

"Really? Well…that's good because it's a real nasty habit." Ranku says with an ironic smirk as he brings a cigarette up to his lips and takes in a deep drag.

"I suppose so," Leah agrees softly watching the man before her. Ranku was an Alpha in every sense of the word with a tall and muscular frame that rivaled that of Jacob Black's. His russet skin spoke volumes of his heritage that seemed to be even richer than Jacob's. His square jaw only made the thickness of his neck seem even more intimidating and Leah can't help but appreciate how good he looks in a simple pair of black slacks and a dark blue button-up shirt.

Leah's head begins to swim as Ranku pulls her close, pressing their hot bodies together, and his eyes drinking in Leah's body before blowing out the smoke over her. The scent of the tobacco is sweet, alluring and always causes her body to react like an aphrodisiac. Her eyelids begin to feel heavy as Ranku's lips brushes against hers earning a low, lustful and seductive moan that Ranku answers back with a low growl of his own.

"Care to help me hunt?" Ranku asks burying his nose into the crook of Leah's neck, his body reacting to her warm and sweet scent.

"I'll help you out if you promise to help me out." Leah whispers softly, her nails biting into the flesh at the back of Ranku's neck and her other hand brushing across his erection eliciting a dark chuckle and groan.

"Now what kind of fiancé would I be if I didn't take care of my future wife, mate and life partner?" Ranku asks before pushing Leah up against the brick wall and capturing her lips in a heated, hungry and passionate kiss.

Leah moans completely surrendering to the kiss, her mouth opening, greedily welcoming Ranku's warm tongue as it caresses her, the two appendages quickly becoming reacquainting. Her breathe hitches as Ranku's thigh moves in between her legs and her body immediately settles down on his leg, her hips grinding against him increasing their lust and desire for one another.

With a soft whimper Leah looks up with a small pout on her full lips as Ranku pulls away, breaking the kiss and licking his lips while staring lustfully at hers. She already knows why Ranku has pulled away; they still have a job at hand before they can reap the benefits of their aroused state. Putting a bit of space in between them Leah watches as Ranku pulls out a small flask and offers her some that she willingly accepts. The liquor burns her throat on the way down, the pungent smell of alcohol is strong – stronger than most proving that it is of a much stronger proof then what is legally sold in the entire state. The odor surrounds them both as they both share a swig.

The hunt is on as Ranku lazily wraps his arm around Leah's and begins walking down the street with her. His steps become unsteady and his added weight causes her to stumble. She can't help the giggle that escapes her lips as Ranku begins to slur his words, promises of all the lewd things he'll do to her once he gets her back to his place. Leah plays her part of the drunken girl that is too far gone to know her left from her right and her foot from her ass. It's a game of cat and mouse that works perfectly well in the urban area. The wolves play the roles of strung out crack heads, a bumbling drunkard and the naïve tourist just looking to learn about life in the city. The tobacco mixture is an old concoction that Ranku developed over his years of traveling across the world that masks the scent of the wolves, denying vampires the one ability that allows them to recognize the danger ahead. The alcohol also aids in it but everyone has their own way of playing the game and for Leah it was playing a drunk.

The two Alphas can smell the vampire faintly as they walk down the street, luring it away from the groups of people, falling into the perfect 'sweet spot' for a vampire. The two victims both drunk, very good looking and both exotic make for a very tempting late night snack for a vampire. Leah had never imagined that vampires could possibly get high or drunk off of the people that they fed from but after listening to Rick, the pack's medic for all intents and purposes, explain the situation it kind of made sense. Some people cooked with wine, sherry or brandy and were able to still enjoy the fine flavor – vampires were no different.

Leah laughs aloud at something that Ranku has whispered to her, throwing her head back in a loud and obnoxious laughter as her eyes flit up to the rooftops to see a male vampire following them. The streets are mostly cleared of people and leaning forward Leah whispers something to Ranku that has him growling deep in his chest and pulling her closer to him.

"In here," Leah says, her speech still slurred as she fists his shirt and yanks him down an alley. The two stumble over their own feet, knock into the walls before Ranku finally has Leah pinned against the furthest wall.

"In here, baby?" He asks allowing his head to roll around lazily taking in his surroundings.

"I want you so bad right now." Leah says breathlessly, her voice deep, seductive and her entire body reacting properly.

"Where just anyone can see us?" Ranku asks walking up and pressing his body close to Leah's, his hips thrusting into hers eliciting a soft gasp.

"Let them see," Leah growls out before capturing Ranku's lips in a heated kiss.

* * *

The two lovers kiss madly, desperately, passionately and sloppily. Their scent is sweet – the sweetest thing he's ever smelled and it has the vampire's head swimming with lust: bloodlust and lust for the female. She's tall, lean and muscular but has soft curves. Her skin has a warm glow to it that he'd love to feel underneath his fingertips. She'd be hot underneath his touch at first but would then turn cold during the last few moments of her life. After he's had a taste of her will he decide whether or not she's worth changing or not.

He watches the two lovers making out, their hands clumsily groping at one another's clothes and body parts. His nose crinkles hearing the man's belt come undone, their hearts beating rapidly increasing the blood flow to their nether regions thus increasing the amount of alcohol spreading throughout their system. If he doesn't make his move soon they'll sweat the liquor out and judging by the smell on both of them they are both totally lit.

With a smirk he drops down from the rooftop landing lightly behind the couple, the man's shirt having been pushed down his arms revealing an extremely muscular back that gives him need for pause. In Los Angeles it's not unusual to find males that invest as much time in their physique and he feels it's a pity that none of the other females will get to partake of this fine specimen. Clearing his throat a couple of times loudly does the pair pull away to look back at him. He smirks seeing the look of frustration on their faces as he's interrupted their drunken attempt at mating.

"Can I help you?" The man asks looking back over his shoulder, the muscles in his back tense and his large frame blocks the female from view.

"You do realize that indecent exposure and lewd, lascivious behavior is against the law, right?" The vampire asks with a playful smirk.

"Voyeurism is frowned upon as well." The woman speaks up and the vampire's eyes become heavy hearing her seductive voice.

"Well I figured that maybe," The vampire begins slowly licking his lips, his body leaning over to catch a very impressive view of the woman's breasts.

"What that you'd join us? Or maybe that she'd like to be with a 'real man'?" The man asks standing up to his full height, his knuckles cracking and even his neck as he rolls his head around on his shoulders. The vampire's eyes narrow for a second as the woman steps forward quickly shedding her dress and standing boldly before him, her body full exposed for him to drink and eye fuck. "Beautiful, isn't she?" The man asks drawing the vampire's attention as his eyes dart over trying to locate the man and then turns around to find the man standing casually behind him, naked as well. "But I gotta warn ya she's a real fuckin' animal."

There's something about the look in the man's eye that has the vampire suddenly on edge as the woman's heart rate begins to increase. Turning around his eyes widen in horror as her body begins to contort and spasm violently, her bones stretching and bulging under her flesh as if there were hundreds of bugs or metal balls moving just beneath the surface. Their eyes lock for a second as instead of the dark brown he witnessed earlier the pupil is a midnight black and dilated, the white flesh turns gold and what was once a small nose becomes an elongated muzzle.

"I toldja," The man chuckles darkly behind him but the chuckle soon turns into a low and menacing growl. Whipping around the vampire sees the man also going through the same change as the female. Before he can react and attack the bigger threat of the two it is already too late as there is burning, searing and ripping pain in his shoulder. Looking back he sees a giant silver wolf latched onto his shoulder, its teeth mercilessly tearing into his, what used to be, marble-like flesh. His cry is caught in his throat as a dark brown wolf lunges at him ripping his head from his shoulders.

* * *

In a matter of seconds, the vampire is torn to shreds and the pieces burning in a dumpster. Letting out a content sigh in the middle of a stretch Leah can't help but smile feeling Ranku's hand run up her side. It's a clear night and with her heightened sight she can see a few stars in the sky but not as many as she'd see if she was back in La Push.

"What's the matter, Hun?" Ranku asks pulling Leah into his lap and tracing her jaw with his nose. He loves Leah's scent and he starts to wonder how he survived so long without being wrapped up in it every morning and night.

"Just – just thinking about home, that's all." Leah admits with a sigh.

"Oh…how was your visit with Jacob?" Ranku asks kissing Leah's neck lightly.

"It – it…I'm back already so that should say it all." Leah states with a small pout.

"You shouldn't have let him run you off. Not away from your home. It's more so your land then his. He left it to run with vampires." Ranku states firmly looking Leah in the eyes. "You have to learn to stop taking shit from them, Lee." Looking down at him Leah can't help but smile and nod her head in agreement. Ranku was right. She'd always taken shit from those she called her family and friends. She always expressed her dislike but never did anything otherwise that would put an end to the torment.

"You're my Alpha Female, Lee," Ranku says with pride as he kisses Leah's lips softly. "And it's time you start acting like it. I won't let anyone just treat you any old way but you shouldn't take it either."

"I love you," Leah says hugging Ranku tightly allowing his warm scent to envelope her.

"I love you too, Hun," Ranku says with a light chuckle as his hands grip Leah's thigh and rear. "Now if I recall correctly we had a tit-for-tat agreement." Leah can't help but giggle before Ranku's lips capture her own.

Jacob couldn't be with her and love her like she wanted but Ranku was more than ready and willing. Jacob may be Mr. Right but Ranku was without a doubt Mr. Right Now.

* * *

A/N: One word: BOOYAH!


End file.
